sitting here ready for pre-sleep thoughts and driftings
reflections on my own lack of courage and that
dratted impatience; i'm wondering
about the usefulness of drugs for my
wandering
mind
(diagnosis came in recently: yes, i qualify)
all those moments of connect-disconnect-intention-fulfilled-missed
throughout the day
coworkers and cows and criminal reports
food - cream and squash and fresh salad
that moment when i felt so connected to you
looking for a phrase a word
something besides the ones that are used too often
and have little meaning
they are scrounged around and dried up,
those common words.
give me another word for 'like'.
give me another word for - .
memories and present-moment interweave:
the feel of my quickly-growing hair (your hands in it, mine in yours)
heading towards warm sheets and heavy blankets in the cold spring air
the memory of tasting your salty sweaty skin, of trying not to watch you
sleeping knowing that my desire would surely
show
and the boys would surely
know
how much I wanted to
be with you upon your waking
bring you in me
as one brings in the sunrise
with such joy
and
surprise
fear: you will soon discover i'm not 'all that' and your head will be turned
by another set of eyes and laughter closer to home.
reality: i keep discovering how much i don't know about what's
possible....
give me another word for 'like'
give me another word for 'connection'
perhaps - starlight
those constellations at a distance
drawing patterns and dancing with one another
illuminating the way for others
who cross dark oceans
navigate dangerous waters
on the road to trade love freedom adventure the
sea-farers
who found their way by stars
a thousand candles
a thousand breaths
and two people
sleeping
under one sky
No comments:
Post a Comment